SSC: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

 

 H-O-T-T

This fantastic contribution to cinema certainly represents a different approach when it comes to job searching that the Lady had not yet considered. Lo, had the Lady not been stamped by her Domestic Patriarch, perhaps she too might have an opportunity to sail across the ocean, performing an elaborate series of 3 minute songs with more production value than Fantasmic! What a fabulous life - seducing old men named "Piggy", carousing with the Olympic swim team, not to mention shimmying with Algerian gypsy children in Fez Hats while I bemoan my own destitution.

WHERE TO BEGIN!? At the beginning, of course!

SSC: The Way We Were

"La La La La La La Can't Hear You!!!!"

Oh Barbara, Matriarchal emblem that you are. Every time I hear just a few bars of that lulling title theme song, I'm reminded of Kim Cattrall's pained expression during a particular Sex 'n the City episode in which the other three ladies croak a melodramatic version of "Memories...." and extol the virtues of the mother of all movies for Ladies.

The Lady won't lie. An actual viewing still prompts similar sentiments as poor Samantha's.

LIKE THE CORNERS OF MY MIND: OH, the forbidden romance that society will never understand. Blank, vacant, blond Robert Redford and scrappy, smart and crazy Barbara Streisand. She's a complicated Communist that society and 19 year old co-eds can't handle. He's the gorgeous college ROTC athlete who might have some artistic inclinations if the right woman make him believe it wouldn't be the emotional equivalent of an Ariel the Mermaid Rolly BackPack.

Babs waffles between enabling this gorgeous guy and sticking up for herself. True to life. Their relationship is a long shot from the get go, but isn't that 90% of its charm? Why do Ladies adore cinematic romances that can't possibly succeed?

CONS: Katie's a bit of an annoying Communist but we should admire her piss and vinegar. Redford's just plain blah and can't understand why she can't be less......her. Hmm. Could men possibly be that annoyed when we Ladies vocalize our passionate and well thought out opinions?! I won't believe it.

EYE CANDY FACTOR: Redford's just plain YUMMY - blond, athletic, clad in NAVY UNIFORMS! He's infinitely unattainable therefore exponentially yummy.  Extra points for copious period costumes, amazing hats, and Barbara's awesome poodle hair which I secretly wish I had.

FINAL VERDICT: The Lady has never been a huge fan of Barbara's, and that's hard to put aside. However, TWEWE is so soppy, pretty to watch and steeped with the smell of doomed love...all with a  confident and proud female lead character. Though you'd think with the boats, beaches and books they could have made it work. Alas, every Lady should see it once. Sans "Sex and the City" context.

Matriarchy scores again!- What Kind of Pie?

SSC: "Twin Peaks" The Series

What better way to observe patriarchy's stamp in action by turning to the REAL American past time - Television!  SSC shall now officially cut its teeth on one of the Lady's favorite TV Series: "Twin Peaks" - Uncovering the killer of Laura Palmer. 


MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE: By all measures this show, in a different time might have ended up on the WB right after a threesome on Gossip Girl. Murder, Incest, Adultery, Betrayal, Lots of Sex, Gambling, Prostitution, Faked Deaths, Spousal Abuse, Motorcycles, Shut-Ins, Drug Addiction, Cheerleaders, Mistaken Identities, One-Armed Men, Serial Killings and Split Personalities all indicate a gritty, implausible, smutty and surely patriarchal narrative. How on earth would a Lady even consider this show?


The Lady cannot help but knowing where television resides today, this show holds up. Every character, is subtle, secretive and most importantly intelligent and self-sufficient. We viewers take our cue from Special Agent Dale Cooper - the true outsider sent to solve Laura's murder. His style doesn't take anyone in this tiny, odd town  for a fool or for granted.  He withholds judgement of each person he meets might have something to hide or offer, even the Log Lady.  If only we Ladies could be so even-handed!

However, the Matriarchy kind of has something its teeth into here - The Lady continues to marvel at the number of well written parts for women of all ages in this show that just doesn't seem to happen today. All play their age, all look their age, and all are fully clothed and yet still incredibly compelling, sexy and powerful. In Twin Peaks you don't disappear after 35.  Audrey Horn, Donna Hayward, Jocelyn Packard, Norma Jennings and especially Catherine Martell have their own agendas, regardless if  God or their parents or the law tell them otherwise. 


CONS: I can't pretend that I can explain all that goes on in this show.  The resolution of the main conflict seemed a little to convenient and supernatural to me, especially considering how well the show straddled the real and the surreal. I'll never really make sense of the Mill subplot n a coherent way. Additionally, the killer was revealed half way through the second season, so its easy to lose interest for the rest of the show, but the quirk kept me coming back for more. 


EYE CANDY FACTOR: GLORIOUSLY EVEN! With Kyle Maclachlan as our proud, principled and restrained tour guide, swooning is sure to follow. Local boys Bobby Briggs and James Hurley are delicious rebels too. A nice balance to the incredibly retro beauty of Sherilyn Fenn, Madchen Aamik and a fed Lara Flynn Boyle.  


FINAL VERDICT: SPLIT, with MATRIARCHY getting a slight edge: I still believe that this was the best forum for Lynch ever.  The restrictions of Network Television kept him from going too far off into the recesses of his own mind in terms of sexuality and just plain weirdness.  And while it's easy to peg him of late as just a strange guy who loves boobs and brunettes, I think think his thoughtful treatment of all his characters suggests motives that are more than just prurient. 


You would have liked to stamp us with this one, patriarchy, but the women of Twin Peaks are just to smart, savvy, ambitious, unapologetic, well dressed and driven to stamp us down completely:

 One woman can make you fly like an eagle, another can give you the strength of a lion, but only one in the Cycle Of Life can fill your heart with wonder and the wisdom that you have known a singular joy. 

Deputy Tommy 'Hawk' Hill

You can't win on SSC with quotes like that, patriarchy. Score one for the ladies.

Smelling Salt Cinema : Beyond the Chick Flick

The Lady does love a good flick now and again. What better way to pass your time than to slide into the magical realm of cinematic escapism? And well, if vintage 80s John Cusack, mumbling Hugh Grant or super-swell Robert Downey Jr. are there to accompany your journey, far be it from me to protest!

I also love movies so bad they're FANTASTIC.

Thinking isn't too bad either, and I like it when movies make me do that too. Furrowing that brow from time to time doesn't always cause us to pass out in distress.

So with tongue in cheek, I'll call my movie notes "Smelling Salt Cinema" - an attempt to maybe bring some attention to the classics of yesteryear and those overlooked gems that might get the brain cells moving. And in keeping with the spirit of Le Recession, consider us at the mercy of Turner Classic Movies, Fox Movie Channel, IFC, Sundance and Netflix.

The fainting couch won't be necessary.