Recession Watch: Lloyd Dobbler Edition

I believe the job of "ORDER PROCESSOR" would be a double violation of the Lloyd Dobbler Career Guide to Happiness. To quote Rock and Roll 70s Sensation Meatloaf, "Two out of Three 'Aint Bad".

Although, as Fraternal Patriarch noted, "2012 seemed pretty processed."

Kickboxing - wave of the future.

Recession Musical Interlude- Old School VH1 Edition

Sometimes it fits the BILL

Coif it Up - Recession Concession

A Lady always secures her beloved 'do in place - protect those beloved tresses from the elements!

The hair is the richest ornament of women. ~Martin Luther 

Oh Luther, maybe the Lady is stamped after all!

When a Lady IS stamped by patriarchy/recession, certain financial concessions must be made: fewer martinis, stockings, blotting paper and rose water to name a few. However, there is one department in which the Lady simply cannot acquiesce - that would be her 4 trips per year to her beloved therapist's hairdresser's. 

"You Could Do This!" : Job Hunt Update

The Lady is ready to drop a mouse on the Patriarchy!

Ah Yes, the most optimistic words you can hear someone say when they are helping you look for a job. I could do so very many things in this world, even if that insane crazy bald man* who instructed me to be entrepreneurial also indicated to me that I had no marketable skills. What a great party!

Yesterday was a 2 vicodin day, as the Lady suffered a slight professional setback in the form of another job rejection.  

The Lady is having a tough time these days convincing the world that she'll essentially work for free makeup. Most jobs won't believe you'll be happy with half of what you used to make. I thought this would be a lovely bargaining chip but it's really resulted in a waste of bandwidth and feeling like you are talking to a Robot. 

My favorite PR Spin Move involved a delightful Public Servant from my Alma Mater asking "I don't even know why you're applying for this (entry level /public university/union) job". Clearly she had the luxury of not being aware of our state's most likely 20% Unemployment Rate.  I'm so jealous!

Here's a list of things I couldn't do:

Sr. Systems Analyst

Hospital Collections

Systems Engineer

Software Engineer

Japanese Egg Donor

Janitor

Assistant to CEO

Cashier/MeatCarver

Sperm Donor

Casino Cage Cashier

My favorite job title of late was "Infant Teacher" which of course, made me think of a 6-month old teaching a class on String Theory. I thought I could parlay the fact that I have somewhat decent language skills into this position until I saw they wanted a curriculum. 

For an Infant. 

To be continued....

*To clarify, "Crazy Bald Man" is not MY Paternal Patriarch. My cup runneth over enough to think that two fat bald men have independently sought me out to regale me of their artistic accomplishments while simultaneously insisting I have no talent. This is one Lucky Lady!

Little Fried

The Lady is a little zapped this AM due to horrible sleep. There's much going on which manifested in a looney dream involving the following:

• Shopping with the Duggar Family at Smart and Final for Deodorant. 
• The VFW Thanksgiving Dinner
• Purple Bugs

The end result was leaping out of bed in horror and launching beloved stuffed Pug, Pugsley across the room. He's still not talking to me.

Might need a vacation.

Yay, Team: Cautionary Tale

So very many notes for this Lady beyond the aesthetic. She must cool her jets!!!

Well Ladies, Bowl Season is almost here.  It is a time of passionate urgency, excitement and possibility. I find that it might be an excellent time to keep our emotions in check.

I have but a simple lesson for we Ladies as we establish our loyalties to our respective teams via tshirts, ballcaps, face paint, novelty hats, jerseys and posterboard from Michael's: An additional rule that is worthy of its own entry. A rule that perhaps transcends any and all particular sports yet might be considered in all aspects of our lives as we tackle adversity, whatever form it might take.

Pun Intended.

Simply, The Lady advises the assumption to never, ever be made that victory is ascertained half way through the game, for no matter what the deficit or victory margin may be.....

THERE IS ALWAYS A LOT OF FOOTBALL LEFT TO PLAY 

Regale the losers with your victory chants, abuses and screaming once the final buzzer sounds. Try not to beat them with the clever signs you've made touting their inadequacies.

But for God's sake, not at half-time.

Because THIS could always happen.

SSC: The Way We Were

"La La La La La La Can't Hear You!!!!"

Oh Barbara, Matriarchal emblem that you are. Every time I hear just a few bars of that lulling title theme song, I'm reminded of Kim Cattrall's pained expression during a particular Sex 'n the City episode in which the other three ladies croak a melodramatic version of "Memories...." and extol the virtues of the mother of all movies for Ladies.

The Lady won't lie. An actual viewing still prompts similar sentiments as poor Samantha's.

LIKE THE CORNERS OF MY MIND: OH, the forbidden romance that society will never understand. Blank, vacant, blond Robert Redford and scrappy, smart and crazy Barbara Streisand. She's a complicated Communist that society and 19 year old co-eds can't handle. He's the gorgeous college ROTC athlete who might have some artistic inclinations if the right woman make him believe it wouldn't be the emotional equivalent of an Ariel the Mermaid Rolly BackPack.

Babs waffles between enabling this gorgeous guy and sticking up for herself. True to life. Their relationship is a long shot from the get go, but isn't that 90% of its charm? Why do Ladies adore cinematic romances that can't possibly succeed?

CONS: Katie's a bit of an annoying Communist but we should admire her piss and vinegar. Redford's just plain blah and can't understand why she can't be less......her. Hmm. Could men possibly be that annoyed when we Ladies vocalize our passionate and well thought out opinions?! I won't believe it.

EYE CANDY FACTOR: Redford's just plain YUMMY - blond, athletic, clad in NAVY UNIFORMS! He's infinitely unattainable therefore exponentially yummy.  Extra points for copious period costumes, amazing hats, and Barbara's awesome poodle hair which I secretly wish I had.

FINAL VERDICT: The Lady has never been a huge fan of Barbara's, and that's hard to put aside. However, TWEWE is so soppy, pretty to watch and steeped with the smell of doomed love...all with a  confident and proud female lead character. Though you'd think with the boats, beaches and books they could have made it work. Alas, every Lady should see it once. Sans "Sex and the City" context.

Matriarchy scores again!- What Kind of Pie?