"You Could Do This!" : Job Hunt Update

The Lady is ready to drop a mouse on the Patriarchy!

Ah Yes, the most optimistic words you can hear someone say when they are helping you look for a job. I could do so very many things in this world, even if that insane crazy bald man* who instructed me to be entrepreneurial also indicated to me that I had no marketable skills. What a great party!

Yesterday was a 2 vicodin day, as the Lady suffered a slight professional setback in the form of another job rejection.  

The Lady is having a tough time these days convincing the world that she'll essentially work for free makeup. Most jobs won't believe you'll be happy with half of what you used to make. I thought this would be a lovely bargaining chip but it's really resulted in a waste of bandwidth and feeling like you are talking to a Robot. 

My favorite PR Spin Move involved a delightful Public Servant from my Alma Mater asking "I don't even know why you're applying for this (entry level /public university/union) job". Clearly she had the luxury of not being aware of our state's most likely 20% Unemployment Rate.  I'm so jealous!

Here's a list of things I couldn't do:

Sr. Systems Analyst

Hospital Collections

Systems Engineer

Software Engineer

Japanese Egg Donor

Janitor

Assistant to CEO

Cashier/MeatCarver

Sperm Donor

Casino Cage Cashier

My favorite job title of late was "Infant Teacher" which of course, made me think of a 6-month old teaching a class on String Theory. I thought I could parlay the fact that I have somewhat decent language skills into this position until I saw they wanted a curriculum. 

For an Infant. 

To be continued....

*To clarify, "Crazy Bald Man" is not MY Paternal Patriarch. My cup runneth over enough to think that two fat bald men have independently sought me out to regale me of their artistic accomplishments while simultaneously insisting I have no talent. This is one Lucky Lady!